some defusion exercises

kobogarden 4th June 2024 at 9:55am

[these are quoted directly; due to the length of the quoting, it doesn't follow regular formatting.]

Disobey on Purpose

Let me start with one that I’m sure will seem perplexing. Just trust me.

Stand up and carry the book around with you while you slowly walk around the room, reading this next sentence aloud several times. (Really do it, while walking, OK? Ready? Stand up. Walk. Read. Go!)

Here is the sentence:

“I cannot walk around this room.”

Keep walking! Slowly but clearly repeat that sentence as you walk . . . at least five or six times.

“I cannot walk around this room.”

Now you can sit down again.

It is such a tiny thing, isn’t it? A tiny poke in the eye of the Dictator Within; a little tug on Superman’s cape.

Give Your Mind a Name and Listen to It Politely

If your mind has a name, then it is different from “you.” When you listen to someone else, you can choose to agree with what they say or not, and if you don’t want to cause conflict, it’s best not to try to argue the person into agreement with you. That is the posture you want to take with your internal voice. Process work has shown that naming your mind helps with this. I call mine George. Pick any name you like. Even Mr. Mind or Ms. Mind will do. Now say hello to your mind using its new name, as if you’re being introduced to it at a dinner party. If you are around others, you can do this entirely in your head—no need to freak people out.

Appreciate What Your Mind Is Trying to Do

Now listen to your thoughts for a bit, and when your mind starts to chatter, answer back with something like “Thanks for that thought, George. Really, thank you.” If you speak to your mind dismissively, it will continue right on problem-solving. Be sincere. You might want to add, “I really get that you are trying to be of use, so thank you for that. But I’ve got this covered.” If you’re alone, you could even say this out loud.

Note that your mind will probably push back with thoughts like That’s silly. That won’t help! Respond again with, “Thanks for that thought, George. Thank you. I really do see how you are trying to be of use.” You could also even invite more comments with dispassionate curiosity: “Anything else you have to say?”

Sing It

This method is powerful when you’re having a really sticky thought. Turn it into a sentence and try singing it—out loud if you are alone, in your head if you have company. Any tune will do. My default is “Happy Birthday.” Don’t worry about trying to be clever about the wording, like coming up with a rhyming scheme. This is not going to get you on America’s Got Talent! Just repeat the thought to the tune. See if you can find a thought that is nagging you right now and try it. Try different tunes; sing it fast or slow. The measure of “success” is not that the thought goes away, or loses all punch and becomes unbelievable. It is that you can see it as a thought, and do so just a bit more clearly.