a possible beginning for the self-awareness

a further note from some months after

It is now (4th of August, 2024) — not just now, but it is clearer, something that has been taking shape for the last six, eight, ten months — things seem to be changing, I would say changing towards a better place, and yet there's almost a sense of some foundations being a little more frail, or dispensed altogether;

am I balancing things correctly — am I falling prey to my blindspots
what is even the point of all of this — all of this writing

is it even safe to share it online, for everyone to see, that I am clearly struggling with some things, that I have so many questions, that my conception of self is either very flexible or very fragile, depending on —————